New Spider-Man Barely Looks “Friendly Neighborhood,” Let Alone “Amazing”

Not feeling this one. Garfield is great, sure, and I have no objection to watching Emma Stone in anything, but the paint-by-numbers comic book movie feels stale enough as it is, and that’s before taking into account that we already have two perfectly good Spider-Man films.

Watching that footage all I could really think was “Hey, there’s some action. They’re bantering now. She sure is a love interest. Hi Denis Leary. Yep, the Lizard looks terrible. Oh good, they’re making it kind of dark and edgy like us kids are into.” I mean do they really think this cookie cutter approach still holds up? We have like forty of these movies, with more every year, and while I’ll be the first to admit I like a lot of them, they still need to do something to seem fresh. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell didn’t make it to the theater for Green Lantern over the summer. Marvel Studios has maintained interest because they’re building to something huge with The Avengers, but even then I wouldn’t say any of their movies have been truly great. And then of course there’s Christopher “The Messiah but with Batman” Nolan off in his own stratosphere with The Dark Knight Rises.

What makes The Amazing Spider-Man stand out? From those two and a half minutes, absolutely nothing that I could see, and from where I’m standing that’s especially bad because as a reboot of an incredibly recent, hugely lucrative franchise, this movie has a long way to go to come close to justifying it’s existence. I’ll be very surprised if, compared to the other comic book releases slated to hit this summer, The Amazing Spider-Man comes off as anything more than an embarrassment.

And the Lizard is supposed to have a goddamned snout. Like an alligator. I will accept nothing less.

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